Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
