I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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