I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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