Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
