what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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