Screwed.edu
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
