Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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