STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
