just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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