I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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