oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
