i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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