i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
