That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
