My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
