I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
