Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
