Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
