OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you win again, gameday.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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