my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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