you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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