Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just want to make out with him forever
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
