I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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