who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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