D3 body, D1 cock
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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