matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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