in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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