Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
