The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
