Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
