He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
That accounts for only three of the penises
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
