There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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