The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
