i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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