Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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