How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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