It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
