you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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