I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
