I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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