The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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