Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
