People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
