yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
