I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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