We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
