You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
