i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
