that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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