He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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