Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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