i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
