there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
